It’s Christmas time and that means a lot of great things! Christmas carols, awesome food, time with friends and family and so much more – but for a lot of us it also has some negative connotations. Unfortunately, for many, it’s a season of conflict.
If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then consider yourself blessed. But if you’ve ever sat in the car before a family gathering and concocted an elaborate exit strategy (does the word ‘Mistletoe’ mean anything to you?); or if you’ve ever faked an illness or used one of your kids as an excuse NOT to go to a holiday gathering; or if the Dirty Santa game has been banned from your family events forever – then YOU know exactly what I’m talking about.
Family gatherings can be hard any time, but mix in the added stress of the holidays, a few unhealthy people, and some unrealistic expectations, and it can very quickly go from hard to just about impossible.
All joking aside, unfortunately this is a very real and all too common challenge for a lot of us. In fact some of you are getting that sick feeling in your stomach just reading this because you know it’s coming. We obviously can’t control what other people are going to do, but we can absolutely take charge of what we do and how we handle these issues when they come up. So over the next few days I want to share with you some very simple and practical things anyone can do to work through the 3 stages of conflict.
First we’re going to cover what to do BEFORE CONFLICT HAPPENS. I’m going to give you some very specific strategies that can help you minimize and possibly even prevent some of these holiday conflicts from happening.
But sometimes despite our best efforts conflict happens anyway. So the second thing we’ll talk about is what to do WHEN CONFLICT HAPPENS. There are some practical things you can do to manage yourself and the situations to keep it all from escalating out of control.
And then finally, we’re going to talk about how to achieve resolution AFTER CONFLICT HAPPENS. When we approach this the right way the results can often surprise us. True healing and restoration is possible!
Max Lucado says “Conflict is inevitable. Combat is optional.” I would add to that the simple phrase ‘Peace is possible.’ As we explore these things over the next few days, my prayer is that God would speak to all of us through this and help us to grow in wisdom and understanding so we can handle this aspect of life with the same grace and mercy he has shown to us.
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